Uncovering Shame and Secrets: An International Study

Almost all people across cultures keep at least one secret. The purpose of this chapter is to examine the extent to which secrets are associated with shame for individuals from different cultural backgrounds, and whether and under what circumstances people succeed in transforming shame into a resource during their lifetime. The chapter presents findings from a qualitative study in which 104 participants between the ages of 19 and 83 were surveyed. Individual responses from these participants are presented and discussed in this chapter. In all, 61 felt shame directly associated with their secret. The shame experience was related to the participants’ cultural contexts, gender, individual dispositions, and value systems. Findings show that most participants deal with secrets and the related shame in a reflexive and transformative way. Personal development, identity development processes and reduced relevance over time affect the evaluation of the secret and the shame transformation across the lifespan.